Warning, Mind turned loose on it's own, no adult supervision available at this point...
Yesterday was a bad day. And a good one. I am not sure how to patch things up with my wife, she's likely going to wake up mad at me, but such is life... *sigh* I need to take care of me, but her needs are so much _louder_ than mine.
Anyhow, her chief complaint yesterday was that I wasn't sensitive or compassionate enough towards her, and oddly enough I was feeling the same way about her towards me, no compassion, no consideration, etc, etc... So naturally we ended up arguing. Problem with this is that when she argues, she feels heard and feels better. I end up getting migraines, severe anxiety attacks, and really (I mean REALLY) seriously screwed up mentally, to the point of black thoughts of despair and suicide. Now, I know what's going to be said here, she tells me all the time.
That's not her fault, I need to find professional help... Yeah, been there done that, still doing it, and over and over and over. Thing is, unless I completely divorce myself from her emotionally I am unable to maintain my mental stability around her, because she's not going to change, and doesn't care enough about us to bother seeing things from any perspective aside from the one she's currently holding. She won't consider our world aside from her overwhelming needs and requirements, my feelings and my issues are not to be considered, (at least not until all of hers are dealt with). Sorry if this sounds like frustration coming out, but it is frustration. I'm trying to figure out what I'm feeling, and how to approach what I am starting to feel is an impossible situation with no resolution...
Sigh, back to work, I'll be back later on to continue. Thanks for reading this far...
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If you post it, please verify that it's what you really want to say. Unconsidered thoughtless snips are a waste of everybody's time. thanks. ANonymous